Top 8 Things Only the Haas Class of 2014 Will Understand

“Top 8 Things Only the Haas Class of 2014 Will Understand”

by Nishant Budhraja, Haas Undergraduate Commencement Speaker, Class of 2014

1. Getting a 95% on a UGBA 10 exam, but still ending up with a B on the curve



“This is a real thing that can happen to you in Haas’s famously competitive Introduction to Business class. Rumor has it that the curve is much more lenient now. So I say let’s take our urban legend to the next level: ‘You know son, back in my day, if you missed a question on a UGBA10 exam, they would just slice your finger off. And get this, they even made you buy your own Scantrons! Crazy, crazy.'”

2. The ethical dilemma posed by the infamous Haas backpack given to us upon our acceptance to the school


“I mean, are you supposed to use the thing or not, right? Wear it and risk the eyre of your non-Haas classmates, but forego it and risk missing out on that Haas backpack swagger. I’ve seen many a great friendship ruined by this debate.”

3. The intense fear that we develop for Professor Alan Ross’s cold-calling


“If you come to class unprepared, Professor Ross will call on you and he will make fun of you when you have no clue what you’re talking about. I occasionally see Professor Ross outside of class walking around campus, and I’m still afraid he will find a way to call on me. So I typically just walk the other way.”

4. The pros and cons associated with the Haas courtyard reconstruction during our junior year


“Studying in the library with jackhammers going off in the background wasn’t particularly nice, but the same jackhammers did keep us awake during those late afternoon lectures. It’s all about those silver-linings. All about the silver-linings.”

5. The deeply spiritual bond that you develop with your fellow UGBA 104 classmates


“For context, UGBA 104 is Haas’s mandatory spreadsheets and modeling class. In which students learn that a class titled ‘Spreadsheets and Modeling’ is just as terrifying as they would imagine it to be. People like to say that Haas students are extremely competitive, but clearly none of those people saw the Haas Computer Lab ten minutes before a 104 assignment was due. So much collaboration and so much profuse sweating. I mean seriously, is it possible to put some of our class’s senior gift towards some air conditioning for that computer lab. Not even a little bit? No? Just checking!”

6. The Haas email celebrities, including, among others, Barbara Felkins, Renee Camarena, Jennifer Cherniss, Karren Bautista Tanisaki, and of course, HBSA President Rosemary


“These are the people that you may have met only once or twice in your life, but who will live on forever in your inbox. Just know that we students appreciated your diligent messaging even if we never opened your e-mails.”

7. The myth and legend that is Dean Rich Lyons


“Dean Lyons is like the Haas version of the most interesting man in the world. Rumor has it that when Dean Lyons drives a new car off the lot, it increases in value. Dean Lyons also had an awkward moment once just to see what it would feel like. I’ve seen Dean Lyons’ business card, and it has no text on it except ‘I’ll have my people call you.’ I mean, it’s the stuff of legend.”

8. Finally, the fondness that we will carry for that beautiful little campus tucked in right below Memorial Stadium


“Being a Haas undergrad is a unique experience. One marked by ups and downs, trials and tribulations, and a constant underlying fear that our older MBA counterparts are having way more fun than we are. We leave this school, however, having accumulated great knowledge, great friends, and most importantly, a set of unique memories that we collectively, the Class of 2014, will cherish for the rest of our lives.”

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